How Alt Are You? - Push Pony - Art, Culture, Fashion, People

How Alt Are You?

Whip out the glitter & go down low because there’s still plenty of time to catch London’s alt fabulous Vault festival before it’s too late

As the old saying goes when a man is tired of niche alternative theatre and silent discos set in derelict London underground tunnels, than he is tired of life. Well fear not fellow Londoner of inescapable apathetic sleepiness brought on from lack of shit to see… because the Vault festival is still roaring it’s 5th week in!

Set deep in the underground Waterloo vaults, past the graffiti dripping tunnels a visually intoxicating theatrical playground awaits. Stuffed with glitter, fascinators, twinkling circus lights and grown men wearing braces. Like the cast of Newsie’s meets The Borrowers at the Shangri-La tent at Glasto, with a packed out last bit of their 2016 program full of all the alt, avant garde, dark comedy, dragalicious laden stuff ones deeply cultured dreams are made of.

There’s matinees, theatre for the little ones, death defying aerials, late raves, tons of booze and tickets still up for all that & much more!!!

Here’s my pick of what’s hot to check out before it’s too late….






9:30pm | 24 Feb – 6 Mar | £16

With the ongoing destruction of equal rights, safe spaces and queer haunts all around the world, planet Earth will soon become inhospitable for the DENIM QUEENS and their non-conformist belief system. There is no alternative but to achieve interstellar travel for all and find a new planet to call home.

How will they do this? In the only way they know how… Using the powers of pop stardom, intergalactic sketch comedy, over-the-top costume changes, and very big wigs!

Hold on tight and get ready for an evening of electrifying drag, jaw-dropping performance, and razor-sharp looks because the DENIM’s will not disappoint!

Their long list of celeb fan’s include Simon Amstell, Florence Welch (with whom they performed on stage with at Glastonbury), Keira Knightly, Mario Testino, Ian McKellen, Stephen Fry, and even Kate Moss, who famously said….. “I think they’re called Denim.” 

Take a Leap!!! Sunday 28th February
Time Out & DENIM  host a raucous Leap Year Party!  Late Night!!!
Tickets £16.75




9:30PM | 2 MAR- 6 MAR | £12

Meet a fame obsessed Sia wannabe, a philosophising Brooklyn bum, Putin’s sperm and many more; as NYC comedian Lucie Pohl brings you along her new soul-twerking Big Apple character comedy joyride!


★★★★ The Herald

‘It’s acting. It’s comedy. It’s brilliant!’
★★★★★ Mirror

‘Crazily funny’
★★★★★ Broadway Baby



6PM | 2 MAR – 6 MAR | £10

Cian has autism. He likes to spin tin-openers. He’s taught all the actors on ‘The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time’ how to be autistic. They’re very good at it.

This is not Rain Man. Journeying through Cian’s mischievous mind, ‘The Misfit Analysis’ takes us through a world of wheelchairs and blow up dolls in an unconventional exploration of an autistic mind. Using multi-media, video projection and his unique brand of performance poetry, Cian playfully questions the place of disability in today’s world.

“Definitely and defiantly different.”
Lyn Gardner – The Guardian

“Quirky, informative and funny”
Steven McElroy – The New York Times



9PM | 24 FEB – 28 FEB | £10

Welcome to an otherworldly environment where gravity is more suggestion than law. 

Told with enticing visuals and picturesque lighting, the stage is continuously transformed using diverse mediums and uniquely strung aerial apparatus. Both chaotic and neatly timed, LoopsEnd is an aerial theatre production delves into cyclical oppression, betrayal and the dangerous fixations of a quirky ensemble. 

“LoopsEnd is the love child of Tim Burton and Trent Reznor”  – The New Orleans Advocate.

9:30pm | 24 – 28 Feb | £12

Nobody puts Boxman in the corner! Quentin Tarantino meets Irvine Welsh in the critically acclaimed dark oddball comedy Boxman, about a man who lives in a cardboard box in his flat, until he falls for Mandy the check-out girl from his local supermarket, and has to start thinking outside the box…

“Hilarious! Comedy gold.” ★★★★ The Stage

“Very funny, catch him before he hits the big screen.” ★★★★ Evening News

Words by Tracy Kawalik

Photos by Tracy Kawalik, Vault and Full Fat PR

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